Pineapples

I love pineapples.  I REALLY love pineapples JUST LIKE JOSH EDMONSEXY.  Like, so freakin much.  They just taste sooooooooo good.  I eat pineapples for breakfast.  I eat pineapples for lunch.  I even eat pineapples for all three of my dinners.  Their texture is just so... perfect.  Every detail is pure magic.  The tough skin... the long, green leaves of the top... the multitude of poky bits the cover its entire sparkling surface.
The real wonder of the pineapple, however, is contained inside the fruit.  What can I say... it is soft and pale.  So smooth and juicy.  To bite into one is to experience pure bliss.  Nirvana.  Paradise.  An orgasm of delicious flavor softly seeping throughout the confines of your mouth.  You can feel te pleasure tingling from the tips of your toes to the non-green-leaved top of your head.
The best thing about the pineapple is its versatility.  Obviously, you can eat them. But they can also be used for so much more.  You can polish them.  You can rub them.  You can gently insert them into a juicer to create pineapple juice.  Ahh pineapple juice.  The drink of the gods.  The joy of its consumption cannot be expressed in the language of mortals. So I'll not even attempt to try.  In fact, I'm going to stop writing and enjoy a pinapple right now....