The not so free ballers

As you may know the intermural basketball season kicks off next week.  My fellow teammate Tyler came up with the most ingenious name ever, The Free Ballers.  We thought it would be good and when Luke and Tyler asked the man if it was ok, the man rejected us.  We are now known as TLC standing for the luscious crew.  I will be a supporting member on this team wearing the number 23 (in tribute to the great Michael Jordan) also wearing the name Foxy across the back.  I don't know who came up with the name foxy but I'm ok with it.  Be ready because The Luscious Crew will be heating up headlines and gym floors in an area near you.

Middle Seats

The middle seats are amazing.  Its all I've ever wanted.  Its so roomy since your not rubbing up on the guy next to you.  Best of all is that you get the desk beside you to put your stuff on.  You will no longer have to lean or bend over to get your stuff off of the floor, its all right beside you.  Converting has changed my life, colors are more vivid, I'm happier, and food has taste now.  My life is now complete since changing ways.  Lately Matt joined me in the middle seats and his life has changed for the better.  He is normally a gloomy human being but since he converted he has been smiling, laughing and having a great time.  Anyone who wants a better life is welcome to join us in the middle.  The only one who can't is a certain blonde male who is very very mean.  There is one downside though, there is a certain man (rhymes with smay flittset) who is behind me and gets me a little scared not knowing what he is doing back there.

The Best in the Business

The Buffalo Bills are an incredible football team and always have been.  In the 90's they went to four straight superbowls being led by Thurman Thomas, Jim Kelly, Andre Reed and Bruce Smith (the all time sacks leader).  We had one of those superbowls won but our filthy kicker missed a game winning Field goal wide right it was terrible.  That was the day I decided to move away and have a new idenity so I left my comfy home in Montana and shimmied on down to Kentucky where i shaved my long flowing brown hair and dyed it red.  The most recent Bills miscue is this past Sunday in a 12 o'clock game against the Pittsburgh Steelers.  The new found talent on the Bills Steve Johnson was running wide open into the endzone in overtime and had the defence toasted Ryan Fitzpartick threads the needle right into Stevie's hands and he drops it.  The game winning TD catch gone.  The steelers rally back and kick a field goal for the win.  The Bills might not be the best team in the league but they sure know how to lose with style. (three overtime games all lost Ravens, Steelers, and Cheifs all with winning records)

Ex-Kentucky players

We all love Kentucky basketball and the players that play there.  Many of us forget about them after they leave so here is a look back at some past Kentucky players who make a living playing basketball:

• Rajon Rondo is averaging 10.6 ppg and 14.2 assists per game. (all star last year)
• Tayshaun Prince is averaging 13.8 ppg and 4.6 rebounds
• Nazr Mohammed is averaging 8.1 ppg and 5 rebounds
• Keith Bogans is putting up a solid 4.5 ppg
• Chuck Hayes - 5.5 ppg & 5.7 rpg
• Keelena Azubuike is out with an injury but will probally average at least 50 or 60 points per game.
• Jodie Meeks is averaging 7.2 ppg off the bench for the 76ers
• Eric Bledsoe is averaging 8.7 points and 4.9 assists a game
• Demarcus Cousins has 10.6 points and 6.7 rebounds per game
• John Wall is averaging 18 ppg and 9.1 assists per game
• Pattrick Patterson is averaging 14.7 points and 8 rebounds in the d-league after being drafted by the Rockets.

This is just an inside look at what they made of themselves after their stint at Kentucky.

The Art of Mooching

I have recently been accused of being a Moocher.  This insult has sent me into a state of deep depression.  Just because my parents pay for mostly everything doesn't make me a moocher.  Actually it kinda does, but I don't mind.  I get to go places for free, drive for free, eat for free, and get random things for free as long as I stay on my parents good side.  Not just any slouch can be a state of the art moocher, it takes a great amount of mooching skill.  First of all you have to make sure you do all of your chores (if they are not done momma gets mad).  Secondly its not all bells and whistles, I have to bring my little brother to and home from school thats a big hastle.  I also have to report all trouble with my car to my daddy who then relays the message to my uncle (since my dads terrible with cars).  Some of the trouble may be like just last weekend my drivers side door doesn't unlock anymore and to open it you have to put some real power into it and still sometimes doesn't even open, so you crawl across the car from the passangers side to get in (so if you see me in the parking lot crawling throught the car don't point and laugh it is a rough world for moochers).  So there you have it from a world class moocher, the art of mooching isn't for the faint hearted or weak stomached its a battle out there everyday.

Here We Go Again

This past weekend I went to a friends birthday party.  It was cold.  Upon arrival at the starting point of the scavanger hunt I was pumped getting ready to win some serious moolah at this scavanger hunt.  After the scavanger hunt (which my team won) we all met back at the beginning of the hunt.  So I stroll back to my car happier than a certain redheaded baby getting rocked to sleep in his favorite rocking chair, when I turn the key to unlock the door and it doesn't unlock.  So I very calmly scamper to the passanger side where the door unlocks so I unlock the other door and thankfully I don't have to crawl though that car as I have before.  Then as I leave her house to go home I notice a light blinking Low Coolant over and over and over again.  So when I finally get home I tell my daddy that the light was on then he says "I just put water in it before you left."  So as a natural reaction he checks for a leak and turns out my car sprung a leak right in one of the hoses.  She keeps doing this to me so I cry until my mommy smacks me back into reality and then I cry because my face hurts.(This is fictional and in no way would my miniscule mother ever slap me unless I deserve a good slap and her 100 pound frame couldn't hurt this 160 pound beast anyways, but don't tell her I said that)

Superpowers

There are many superpowers in this world that I would like to have.  Super Strength would be cool and all but I don't think I would walk around picking up heavy stuff just for fun.  I want something that I could use all the time and have fun using.  Super Speed would be fun but it wouldn't even be a challange playing any sports because I could manhandle everybody and it wouldn't even be fair.  I thing the power that I would most like to have would be the power to see through clothes.  Not really the real power I would want would be the ability to fly.  It would be amazing on a cool winter afternoon to fly to the secluded area known as Montana.  They may not have much but they have to have something good and since its always cold their I'm hoping that they have the worlds best Hot Coco.  I know its a long way but who cares the cool air blowing in my face, my flowing locks of hair whipping around in the breeze.  The possibilities are endless.

Sucessful Redheads

Redheads are the best race on the planet.  We are unique and good at everything.  Give us a challenge and we can be successful at it.  Other than myself there are many other amazing redheads in this world, for example:

• Brian Scalabrine who was a long time Boston Celtic but is now a potential mvp with the Chicago Bulls.
• Dennis Rodman he was a rebounding machine back in his playing days, although his hair isn't naturally red.
• Shaun White is an Olympic snowboarding Gold medalists.  He also competes in skateboarding and is a beast at that also.
• Bill Walton one of the greatest basketball players of all time.
• Jack Nicklaus the best golfer ever to walk the planet.
• Mark McGwire one of the all time homerun champions.
• Ariel off of The little Mermaid.
• Daphnie on Scooby Doo
• Elmo
• Pippi Longstocking
• Miss Pross
• Dana Payne
• Adam Savage on Mythbusters
• Ronald McDonald
• Rupert Grint in the Harry Potter series
• Patrick Renna from the movie Sandlot
• Chuckie on Rugrats
• Chuckie in Chuckie
• Lucie on I Love Lucie
• Lindsay Lohan although she has had her troubles us redheads will always stand beside her.
• Reba McEntire is a wonderful country singer and also had her own show for a little bit which was kind of humorous.
• Also that one lady off of Titanic, that movie still gets me everytime.
• Carrot Top in those delightful att commercials.
• Those two classy ladies on Desperate Housewives.
• All the leprechauns of the world.
• And the Illustrious Chuck Norris I need not say more.

Sports Television

Everybody hates seeing the same reruns over and over again.  Well all of your problems can be solved by just watching sports.  There is always some new sports show on from live games to highlight shows they can satisfy anyone man or woman, young or old.  Sports can bring any two people together, its the gooey stuff in the middle holding everything and everyone together.  Sports can bring nations together through the Olympics or World Cup and many other sporting events the world offers.  I for one can enjoy almost all sporting events out there.  So anyone who hates watching the same thing break out of your ordinary routine and watch some big sweaty men play with each other.

Trick or Treating

Who doesn't love candy?  Everyone likes at least some type of candy in the world.  So when Halloween comes along why think that you are too old?  I have been on a 16 year streak of never missing a single Halloween.  That streak could rival Cal Ripken's consecutive game streak in the MLB but, I'm in it for the thrill of the sweet and sticky delight that is candy.  Some of the reason I continue to go on is since my sister stopped going with us it would only be my little brother if I stopped so I figured might as well go and get some candy.  To all of you old party poopers I'm sixteen and still going strong in the game of trick or treat.

Rajon Rondo

We all know that Rajon Rondo is an incredible basketball player.  He went to the great University of Kentucky.  He is easily better than anyone who has ever went to the University of Louisville.  Rondo is now one of the best point guards in the world and kicked off the 2010-2011 season last night with a true point guard game.  He may have only scored four points, but he controlled the entire Celtic offence all night.  He created many opportunities with his quickness and passing ability coming up with an unheard of 17 assists.  His great play has put him at the top of a team littered with future hall of fame players.  He has proven himself as an offencive threat and a lock down defender, making him the best player on the Celtic team.  They should change from the big three to the giant one.

Year of Champions

Some of you may know that I was born in the great year of 1993.  Let me tell you of some amazing happenings during this wonderful year.

• The Blue Jays won the world series
• Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls won the NBA Championship over Charles Barkely and the Suns.
• The Buffalo Bills went to the Super Bowl only to come to a devastating loss.
• Unfortunately, the North Carolina Tarheels won the NCAA men's basketball tournament. (Kentucky, led by Jamal Mashburn, made final four)
• Stanley cup was won by the Montreal Canadiens.
• Chris Webber number one overall pick in NBA draft.
• Drew Bledsoe number one overall pick in NFL draft. (Michael Strahan 40th)
• Alex Rodriguez number one overall pick in MLB draft. (Steroids)

These are just a hand full of the great achivements in this incredible year.

They are finally out of my life!

I would just like to let everyone know that the filthy New York Yankees are finally out of the playoffs.  They got completely manhandled by the Texas Rangers.  It looked like a bunch of one armed old ladies, with the exception of Robinson Cano, trying to compete against the Rangers.  I was extatic to see that the Yankees were eliminated that I almost got a Rangers tatto right beside my Taylor Swift tattoo.  I know hope that the Rangers win the world series just because they beat the Yankees, but I wouldn't be upset if the Giants won, so its a win win for me and a big time loss for Yankee fans everywhere. I would probally guess the Yankees will come back next year with more players and also richer players since the Yankees are loaded.

Nice Rack

In Mrs. Matthews classroom there is an incredible rack.  Anyone with eyes will love to see this beautiful piece of art.  Her magazine rack is an absolutely, astounding.  It may be lacking some of my favorite types of magazines, such as sports illustrated, but I will still love it forever.  There is a nice array of A\\W which I can only imagine what it could mean. These are complemented by a nice selection of PC World along with a single WKU spirit magazine and one World Equestrian Games.  My favorites being the wonderful cartoon magazines such as deciBell the beef blasting cow.  Also including Gristle Missle and The Invincible CowBorg who join deciBell to stop the comsumption of beef products. 

Old Man's Still Got It

Do you remember back when Ladainian Tomlinson was the best back in the league?  Those were the good ole days.  He was incredible.  He broke the NFL record of rushing TD's in a single season with an astounding 28 while breaking the record for total TD's with 31.  He was always the best running back in the league until everyone started calling him old.  And then one fateful day he found himself strucken with turf toe.  Now at the ripe age of 31 he is once again silencing critics with electryfing scampers some of which end up in the endzone.  He is averaging an incredible 5.6 yards per carry. He is the 16th best rusher in the league and he isn't even the feature back and only on 12 attempts. He'll definately be getting plenty of attempts with the fragile Shonn Greene starting running back.  Tony Dorsett and Emmit Smith has nothing on the Ladainian Tomlinson.

Worse than the Yankees?

The Pittsburgh Pirates have just earned the honor to be the first to 100 loses this season.  They are still trying to keep in the playoff race only meager 31.5 games back in their division.  They have had 276 more runs scored against them than they have scored.  They have given up more runs than any team in the league, only two others gave up 800 (pirates are at 835).  Their team batting average is at an astounding .241 which ranks them among the worst in the league.  Their pitching has a solid 5.07 era which ranks them at 29th in the league.  In the mist of all of their terribleness they still have a glimmer of hope... not really.  Well at least they are one of the most beloved teams in baseball, just because everyone's real favorite team can destroy the pirates.

CJ Spiller

CJ Spiller is a running back out of Clemson University.  He was drafted ninth overall by the Buffalo Bills.  The Bills already have a good backfield with Fred Jackson and Marshawn Lynch, but no team couldn't use a CJ Spiller.  He shocked crowds at Clemson, the combine and in the preseason.  At Clemson he rushed for over 1200 yards(12 TD) and more than 500 yards receiving, which broke the acc all purpose yards record.  In the combine he ran a 4.37 40 yard dash.  He followed that by many electrifying rushes many that went for touchdowns.  As hard as it would be to run with an offensive line that might as well be little school girls trying to stop giant 300 pound men. The Bills finally gave him a chance after a poor showing in his first ever regular season game and he did not disappoint.  He caught his first ever NFL touchdown and took back a 95-yard kickoff for his second.  The Bills need to understand with someone so athletic and gifted on your team you should get him the ball as much as possible. 

Vacations to the Farm

Ahh the farm, one of the most peaceful places in the world, owned by the great, Uncle Mike.  This house is absolutely incredible.  The living room, dining room, and kitchen are all together in the center of the house.  Above these spectacular rooms there are rafters that run from the loft across the rooms and others from wall to wall.  On these rafters there is loads of stuff hanging down, anything you can imagine go ahead name something I'll bet he has it.  It is the most interesting place that I have ever been in.  Every time I go there it is worth the drive to the Huzzah valley past St. Louis.  There is no technology at all no reception or TV just you the people and games you brought and the wilderness.  We would spend our days relaxing and swimming in the crystal clear water on his land.  That place is amazing it has the most perfect skipping rocks.  My incredible rock throwing and skipping skills were on display when I knocked a water bottle off of a fallen tree and also was the the first ever in the history of the Farm to skip a rock into the bottle, it must have taken a gazillion rocks though.  When we came home most of the time my cousins Jayde and Alana, would want to play hide and go seek, in the house.  I am very, very bad at that game, I don't know why it might be since I'm about a hundred times the size of my 10 and 4 year old cousins, so I found myself being it roughly 98% of the time. I also went to Florida and although getting roasted like a Christmas ham on the beach was fun going to the farm was just as fun if not funner.

Fine peice of machinery

You may or may not know that I have driven a beautiful, red, 1994 Poniac Grand Prix.  To look at it you can only wish that you owned one.  It is probably the most coveted car ever created, who doesn't want one?  But just like anything else it has it's flaws.  For instance, when I decide to use the brakes this highly tuned vehicle shakes, or rattles whatever you want to call it.  That was just one problem, of the many with this heaven sent automobile.  The most recent occurring at the wee hours of 7:30 as I was leaving for school.  It started just like any other trip to my gorgeous car skipping down the walkway behind the house to the driveway, humming my favorite tunes.  Then as I approached this goddess I reached to door handle and gently pull it.  All of the sudden I hear a snap and pieces of my baby rattling around inside the door.  So with my door latched closed I had no choice but to climb in through passenger side door to get into the drivers seat.  It is very uncomfortable crawling over a seat and a gearshift to get to where I needed to be.  I can only pray that this will get fixed soon so I don't pull a hammy getting into my car.

Kevin Durant

Kevin Durant is a 21 year old superstar in the NBA.  Just last year he became the youngest ever NBA scoring leader while averaged 30.1 ppg.  When he was just a young lad as a rookie in the NBA he averaged 20.3 ppg, thats pretty good for a rookie.  Kobe Bryant only averaged a miniscule 7.6 ppg when he was a rookie and look what he is now.  You may say thats Kobe though, he is terrible, Dwayne Wade only averaged 16.2 ppg as a rookie and he has now risen to become a NBA champion.  I'll bet the Trail Blazers feel dumb after drafting Greg Oden ahead of Kevin Durant.  That poor coach he probally cries himself to sleep every night since then thinking about what he could have had.

Tyler's Man Crush

Have you ever had a weird stalkerish feeling toward someone?  Well, if you haven't I'll bet you know someone who does.  For example Tyler Calhoun, a normal high school student, has the biggest man crush I have ever seen.  Tyler is in love with Steve Nash.  Not like a fruity love more like a worshiping love.  I think if he ever got close enough he might capture him and keep him locked in his house so he could watch him play basketball all day.  He is a really good basketball player but you have to know your boundaries.  Nash should definitely get a restraining order against Tyler if he ever gets a chance, just to be safe.  I don't know what it is about Steve Nash, maybe its that he is Canadaian or maybe his long flowing locks of hair, but he needs to keep his distance from Tyler.

BCS

NCAA football is operating under a very flawed system.  I enjoy the bowl games but to determine the national champion they should have some sort of playoff.  Their are years when teams have a perfect season but don't have the chance to compete for a championship.  Most everyone who knows how the BCS works would agree that what they are doing isn't getting the job done, and it needs improvement.  NCAA football has really got this wrong and should change it so they would no longer have the most flawed sports system in the country.

Juiced

Steroids in sports is starting to become major concern.  The all time home run leader, Barry Bonds, will always live with his accomplishment questioned.  Although he hit more home runs than anyone in history, he cheated the game.  Another player that has admitted to using steroids is Alex Rodriguez.  He just hit his 600th home run this summer, but his use of steroids will lessen his chances of going to the hall of fame.  Two of the best home run hitters of all time might not be immortalized in the hall of fame because they chose to take steroids.  Rodger Clemens is another player who's statistics say he should be in the hall of fame, but many believe that he too may have taken performance enhancing drugs.  These drugs have affected many players over the past few decades and we can only hope that we can get back to where we started.

The worst team in baseball

We all know that the Yankees are the most hated team in baseball. Its because Yankees buy the best players in the league every year.  Although they are tied for their division lead and the best record in baseball they are playing worse than the Orioles in the month of August.  The Yankees are 12-12 and the Orioles are 13-11 in August.  Most people would think some of the best pitchers in the league, including one of the best closers in history, along with the best hitting shortstop in the history of the game and a man with 600 homeruns would win a little more than Baltimore.  If New York doesn't pick up the pace they won't have a chance at repeating as world series champs.
P.S. Yankees are terrible

Music and Lobes

Connor his favorite reindeer is Donner, he never knew his father,  he likes peach cobbler, his mother always wanted a daughter.  This is the lyrics to a song written and performed by the Grayson Alexander III.  I don't know where he came up with it because everybody knows that Blitzen is the best reindeer and I've never even had peach cobbler and I see my father everyday of my life.  This is just one of the hit songs that he performs every white day from 8:15 to 10 in Dereks momma's Pre-Cal class.  If you come to the show make sure to keep your distance.  Grayson isn't a shy kind of person, his hands know no bounds.  He has the weirdest fetish that I have ever been a part of.  He likes molesting ear lobes.  His giant monkey hands will come out of nowhere and start to feel up your ears.  Grayson is a good guy though if you are ever in a bad mood go see Grayson and it is almost certian that he will make you laugh, or feel really awkward.